WHY TALK TO ME?
Believe me, I wish like hell that I wasn’t sitting here in the position I am now in, to be offering you grief-coaching services. I wish that I was still innocent and naïve about loss and death. I wish that I didn’t know the horror and the loneliness and the intense fear and terror that grief carries with it. I wish I was unfamiliar with how losing your life partner, literally affects every other part of your life. I wish I knew nothing of P.T.S.D. or anxiety or panic-attacks. I wish I didn’t know any of this, and that someone else could maybe help you to process and heal and live a beautiful life with loss, and I could go back to my magnificent, ordinary life with my dear and wonderful husband.
But I can’t.
Because my husband is dead.
On July 13, 2011, sudden death came to my healthy, 46 year old husband, in the form of a massive heart attack. There were no last words. No “I love you.” No “good morning.” Like the worst magic trick of all time, he was just here one second, and then – POOF! – gone the next. I was left behind to figure out my life.
Over the past 5 years since my husband’s death, one of the many things I have come to figure out, is that when I reach out to others with the intention of helping them process and heal, I am also healing myself. I have also realized that I am not the same person I was before this loss. Yes, there are pieces of me that will always remain a part of who I am. But to live inside something like this and not have it change who you are, is impossible. This new version of me finds purpose and joy in helping others to crawl and then walk and then fly this road they never knew they’d be on.
When I write something that speaks to somebody, or facilitate a grief support group and am able to change someone’s perspective on something, or give a comedic presentation on grief and be responsible for someone’s “first real laugh” post-loss, my world expands and I feel a true sense of fulfillment. I have complete confidence that if you choose to talk with me one-on-one, we will figure out the pieces of your life together, and we will find the steps to walk you through it. I know it is possible, because I am living and breathing today. I have gone from a place of complete hopelessness and darkness, to a place of joy and bright tomorrows. The best part is that I have learned endless, vital things along the way. I have learned , among many other things, that we do not ever “let go” of the people we love who have died. We carry them inside and outside and everywhere within our universe, and if we let them, they can actually help us to fly again. I want so much to be able to pass on to you, all the many things I have learned . Let’s walk through this together. Let’s slowly step into your life.
STEP INTO YOUR LIFE: (What is Grief Coaching?)
The term is a bit silly, but it is also quite accurate. After you lose someone that you love deeply, everything within you changes. You feel sickened and angry and left out and frightened and confused, and about a zillion other things, often all at the same exact time. Most people have absolutely no clue how to grieve, or what the heck to DO with all of these piling-up emotions and thoughts. Why would you know if you’ve never done it before? This is why grief is so damn scary. Every single time you have another emotional breakdown, you truly wonder how anyone can possibly live with this much pain and not die. And then the pain happens again. And it happens again. Again. Again, and again, and again. “How am I still alive”, you think. “And am I going to be in this much pain forever?”
I remember asking my grief-counselor that exact same thing, over and over and over again. Nobody ever tells you that the only way to NOT keep feeling the intense pain – is to process through and talk through and analyze and go over every detail of it, until you no longer need to anymore. It is only after you do all of this, that you can begin to re-create your life. The process of doing this takes as long as it takes, and it’s different for everyone, but it must happen. The only way out is through.
People grieve for things every single day. People not only grieve other people, but they also grieve extreme life-changes like divorce or loss of a job or home, and traumatic or unexpected events that take place in their lives – throwing them into the pits of “what the hell do I do now?” If you feel like something huge has ended , yet you don’t know where or how to begin, you are probably grieving something and need to process through it.
As your grief-coach, I will work with you through this process of telling and re-telling your story, processing your many emotions, and figuring out what comes next for you. I will be your ally, your support system, and I will offer you tools and coping mechanisms to help you through the next day or hour or minute. Living through and with loss is an ongoing learning process, so sessions work best on a long-term basis. However, sometimes you just ABSOLUTELY NEED TO TALK WITH SOMEONE RIGHT THIS SECOND, or your needs may be more short-term. I am here for you, and I am flexible. Each person is different in how they live through and with loss, and my overall goal is to help you to move into a place where you are not only just existing, but making moves to create and then step into your life – with very real joy and purpose. Together, we can create goals and a new direction for the life that you were meant to live.
Grief-coaching sessions run one-hour (or sometimes more, if you need more. I’m flexible) and can be done by phone, Skype, or in person (right now, Massachusetts area only.)
The most effective way to work on an ongoing basis is once per week. However, everyone’s situation is different, and some may prefer to do bi-weekly sessions , or even monthly. Since coaching is not considered a medical service, it is not covered by insurance, and I am not equipt to accept any insurance plans. Sorry! All fees are kept at a very low rate so as to be affordable for most people. Please email me with any affordability issues, ad I am sure we can work something out. Payments can be made via Paypal, at firstname.lastname@example.org, before each session if possible. (follow links below for easy Paypal payments)
One hour session = $35
Four sessions paid upfront = $120 ($20 savings)
Please note that while grief-coaching can be life-altering and extremely beneficial, it is not psychiatric care or treatment of any conditions such as depression, and I am not licensed or certified to diagnose clients who may be in this type of crisis mode. If you are suffering from depression or other mental illness, this would most likely interfere with the grief-coaching process, and you should seek assistance or help from a professional.
If you think you are interested in one-on-one grief work with me, and you are ready to make the first move to “step into your life”, please send me an email at email@example.com or at firstname.lastname@example.org .
Thank you so much. I look so forward to speaking with you.
“I have been working with Kelley as her grief-counselor for about 3 years, and she never ceases to amaze me. Kelley possesses the most important qualities necessary for anyone counseling or coaching ANYONE ELSE. Those qualities are true self-awareness, authenticity, and compassion. At times, our work together has left us both laughing (yes, laughing) and crying. Her genuineness always shines through and that makes her an amazing grief coach.” – Caitlin Kelly, LMHC, MSEd, Advanced Certification, Grief Counseling